Thursday, August 18, 2011

Always In Transition

We have moved!  Ok we have moved the office, not the house.  It looks like Labor Day weekend is the big event and I really have mixed feelings.  I can’t describe how excited I am to finally be done with the drama and anxiety that surrounds us with our current house.  I know I am going to feel like a weight has been lifted.  I know that’s cliché but I have felt the physical effects of relieving emotional stress so I know it can (and will!) happen in this case.  My anxiety is the logistics of the move.  When we were military, moving was a piece of cake (another cliché—I’m on a roll today).  Really the hardest part was waiting.  I would stand in my house with a clipboard and direct traffic.  Now that we are civilians again, I’m not allowed to direct traffic.  I have to make the hard decisions, wrap, pack, unpack, unwrap, etc.  It is going to be difficult to maintain a sense of order while this is happening.  Not there is ever much order around my house but it would be nice to be able to minimize the stress, although we seem to thrive in chaos. 

School starts back next week which means I have put off school shopping long enough.  We must go this weekend.  Off we go tomorrow, lists in hand.  I really don’t dislike school shopping, I just dislike the crowds.  Picking out backpacks and crayons—that’s actually fun for me.  Hopefully I can manage without tears (from me or the kids).  My oldest child needs a fancy white dress for a church award ceremony.  If it were for my middle one, it would be easy.  My oldest hates dresses and anything girly.  It’s going to be quite a challenge to find her a dress that isn’t frilly, lacy or poufy.  And it’s August—white dresses aren’t really in season.  There will be tears.  I’m prepared.  I hope. 

My husband saw his neurologist again a couple of weeks ago and I’m happy to report that he is getting a new doctor!  His old doctor has no bedside manner and is just downright rude.  He has been in constant pain since early January.  We asked about a specific treatment that had worked for a friend.  Her response to that was that he would be an excellent candidate for that if his pain was severe.  You mean to tell me that constant, debilitating pain for over 6 months isn’t severe?!  Nonsense.  I was so upset by her lack of explanation and her obvious underestimating of his condition.  I found the patient advocate who suggested that we see a different neurologist at another VA clinic.  We are equal distance from two different clinics so it doesn’t matter which one we go to, as long as the doctor will offer some sort of explanation.  I’m not asking for a diagnosis; in fact, at this point, I have resigned myself to the fact that there will never be a diagnosis.  I just want him to have some relief so he can live his life normally, and, in return, the whole family can live normally again.  That may never come.  I just don’t understand how and why this turned into a chronic condition.  I am hopeful that a new doctor will at least have some bedside manner.  When you don’t have any answers, a doctor that shows concern would go a long way.

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